My cousin was married last Saturday in High Point. There were beautiful blue hydrangeas on every table at the reception, the beef tenderloin was tender, and everyone boogied on the dance floor to familiar songs played live by the S.O.B. (Special Occasion Band). “Sweet Caroline, bum-bum-BUM!”
But before we ate and danced, there was the ceremony. It was short and sweet. The bride and groom beamed at each other as they repeated their vows to love always and forever. Just before the first kiss, the groom reached behind the altar and pulled out a step stool for his bride. He stands at six feet and seven inches. My cousin is five feet tall in her wedding shoes.
As was written of old, “Love is patient, and love is kind.” I don’t know if I have any other marriage advice, but I believe that humor makes the difference. Marriage is not a joke, but as Anne Lamott says, “Laughter is carbonated holiness.” It will bubble up, even in tough times. For two people to grow closer together, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, it helps to laugh. The happiest couples I know don’t take themselves too seriously.
The day after the wedding, my own bride and I picked up our kids from their weekend spent with her parents. We had traveled no more than five minutes down the road when one of our kids puked in the minivan. My father-in-law came and took all three kids back to his house, while my wife and I drove to the nearest car wash. With three kids, we are no strangers to vomit, but this was the first time we had to ride with our heads hanging out of the windows for fresh air.
Then, as I was vacuuming up the vomit, I realized there was yet another offensive smell. Someone had recently washed cow manure from their vehicle, and I had parked right beside this pile of you-know-what. I looked incredulously at my wife. We still had cleaning to do and many miles to go, but our laughter was a step up to a better state of mind.
Andrew Taylor-Troutman is pastor of Chapel in the Pines Presbyterian Church as well as a writer, pizza maker, coffee drinker and student of joy.
