My family scooted down to the North Carolina coast for a couple days last week to celebrate the holidays with extended family. The kids received more Christmas presents, including a turtle for my daughter — a hand-carved wooden one, that is. Sweet Baby Jesus, my kids don’t need another pet!
But their Santa list was filled with live animals. A hamster, gerbil and guinea pig. Not just one, but all of those critters! My daughter even asked for a puppy. When I clarified that, surely, she meant a stuffed animal — not another real dog! — she shook her head.
“One dog is not enough!”
There are actually no animals mentioned in the Bible at the birth of Jesus. (The recently deceased Pope Benedict XVI pointed this out in his book about the infancy narratives.) But tradition has it that Mary rode a donkey to Bethlehem. There were shepherds, so sheep are often included in the scene. Cattle “lowing” is from the popular carol “Away in a Manger.”
Lobsters were with the Sweet Baby Jesus in the movie “Love Actually.” It can get a little out of hand.
Possibly because they have heard about the manger their whole lives, my kids want their own menagerie. Not livestock, but definitely a herd of rodents. Oh, they promise, they will take care of them! They will feed and water them!
I replied that I’d be happy to get them a small plant.
They made another counteroffer — a snake!
My dear friend owns a pet snake. Recently, Mango was introduced to my sons during an afternoon visit to her house. The boys have not stopped talking about this experience. No, stuffed snakes did not slake their desire.
Thankfully, I have an important ally at home. My wife is not on board for more animals, whether rodent or reptile. She’s a firm “no.” The kids know better than to pester her. They have long known which parent is more likely to bend.
As I relaxed with my dog in our otherwise animal-free living room, the kids approached bearing peanut butter-filled pretzels from Trader Joe’s. Their scouting report showed all my weaknesses.
“Dad,” the eldest began. “We have an idea about a new pet.”
I stopped, midchew.
“You can get us a bearded dragon.”
I’d sooner shave my own beard!
Back to the beach house: Upon arrival, we discovered the presence of certain furry little creatures by their, ahem, “presents” dropped in the pantry. My kids spent a good hour scouring the house for them. I was touched that they wanted to help rid the house of mice.
“No, Dad. We want to take them home!”
Andrew Taylor-Troutman is the pastor of Chapel in the Pines Presbyterian Church. His newly-published book is a collection of his columns for the Chatham News + Record titled “Hope Matters: Churchless Sermons.”