Wonder is right in front of me

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Many years ago, I was a young and determined seeker on the path of life. How could I evolve into my best self? Like many of my generation, I read the popular books of Carlos Castaneda and, heaven knows, just about any evolve “in this specific manner” book that came down the pike.

One of the more impactful books I read was entitled “The Black Butterfly,” written by an M.D. Reducing this book to essentials (or at least the essentials as I then perceived them), a black butterfly landed on the forehead of the author and this man’s world inexplicably cracked open to a deeper understanding of life. THAT’S what I wanted — the black butterfly experience of life‘s deep secrets opening within me. Easy-peasy.

This was the beginning of my black butterfly hunt I still have vivid memories of vacationing at the time in Big Sur, California, and looking up, always looking up, scanning for a black butterfly that might alight on my forehead and EASILY open that inward door. Somehow, this seemed possible, swayed perhaps by a stay in the magical, mystical, mecca of Big Sur. (And this is also why we are only young once.)

Continuing to scan for the black butterfly, I still recall playing in a fast-moving stream with other vacationers. There was eye-opening magic right in front of me in the shape of a huge river-rock fetching dog. No, no — the dog wasn’t huge, but the river rocks he/she fetched were eye-poppingly large. In this incredibly clear water, we would pick up rocks and throw them. The dog would splash over, completely submerging its head in the rushing water, and come up with a large rock, any large rock. Standing there with its mouth full of an absurdly large stone, tail whipping in the air, and waiting, just waiting, for the next thrown rock. Happiness personified. (Pretty much what I was looking for as well.)

Other wondrous vacation activities included: a five-mile hike next to the ocean — cold and bracing — but we remained warm, filled with the joy of the experience. And the incredibly healthy hippie food, eaten while looking at the mountains on one side and the ocean on the other.

The black butterfly? Nope, never saw one — I left that notion up in Big Sur. But oh-so-many years later, I can still picture the magic of the river-stone fetching dog and the seaside hike that warmed me from the inside against the chilly winds. I suppose there’s a hovering black butterfly somewhere, but I’m in no need of it. Life, with all its wonder, was, and is, right in front of me. What a lovely reminder with which to start 2023.

Jan Hutton is a retired hospice/hospital social worker who believes in living life with heart and humor. She has happily lived in Chatham for 20 years.