They — whoever “they” are — tell us memory is the first thing to go.
I don’t remember what’s next.
But recently a thought has come to me that even though we’re now into 2023 and I’m still trying to remember to put that on checks and other documents, it still isn’t too late to make a couple of resolutions for the upcoming year. And they all revolve around forgetting more than remembering. Humor me, if you will, on this one.
In working on a Sunday morning message, I read about some things that would be good for us to forget in the New Year, and I share them with you while also trying to take my own advice.
One thing we should forget is past success, whatever form it takes. It’s human, of course, to rest on our laurels and accomplishments. And it feels good to succeed, but there’s a danger in remembering the past too much: it can paralyze us from looking forward and make us look downward on other folk who may not have been quite so successful.
Another thing to forget is just the opposite; we should forget past failures — and for the same reason. We’ve all had them, whether it’s the grade of 8 that I once made on a high school chemistry test (my fault: I didn’t like chemistry and I didn’t study) or being passed over for the job promotion I once wanted.
If we drink too long from the fountain of failure we no longer want to go to the fountain at all for fear of failing again. And the longer I live, the more convinced I am of this one thing: we all experience failures — personal, family, business, spiritual — but none of us are failures if we keep at it and do our best.
A third thing to forget, and one that seems to be prominent in human life, is to forget past grievances. Keeping score is something that should only happen in ball games, not in relationships. It’s been my sorrow to see family members all but come to blows over a piece of property or a slight that happened years ago, sometimes so long ago that even though the grudge has been nursed for years, the folks involved can’t remember what it was that first upset them.
Don’t keep a list of resentments; don’t lug all your old grudges into 2023; don’t make new ones; get over running battles with family members; resolve gripes with your parents (regardless of your age or theirs); if you’re mad at God because your life isn’t all you wanted it to be, do something about it. Get over your anger and turn your life around.
And finally, forget your handicaps and fears.
All of us have some kind of “handicap.” For some folks it’s an excuse to do nothing; for others, it can be an excuse to do better. For instance, I’ll admit up front that I know basically nothing about the workings of the internal combustion engine. You do not want me to stick a screwdriver into the 4-barrel carb on your Chevy Super Sport. But it’s possible, if I’m interested, that I could find someone who would teach me the way around a set of wrenches.
And fears … President Roosevelt in the dark days of the Depression and World War II told the nation the only thing we have to fear “is fear itself.” Are there some unpleasant things in life? Does it get dark at night? The answer to both is “sure.”
But the answer, I believe, is found in hope. The old adage says “where there’s life there’s hope.” I think it’s more the other way around — where there’s hope there’s life.
Forgive and be forgiven. Have faith in yourself, others and God.
A little verse I ran across sums it up this way: “It’s better to walk in the dark with God than walk alone in the light; it’s better to walk with Him by faith than walk alone by sight.”
Let’s try to forget those things this year and get back together in 360 or so days and see how it turned out.
Bob Wachs is a native of Chatham County and retired long-time managing editor of the Chatham News/Chatham Record, having written a weekly column for more than 30 years. During most of his time with the newspapers, he was also a bi-vocational pastor and today serves Bear Creek Baptist Church for the second time as pastor.