Every time AT&T or Verizon or another techno outfit introduces the latest “Must Have” communications gadget, I’m amazed that 8,000 or so folks sleep out for a week or at least overnight in 15-degree weather so they can be first in line to get one of the toys.
I’m also amazed at how much they’re willing to pay for it, especially since some other techno-gadget will be introduced within the next 15 minutes, rendering their new toy obsolete.
That fascination with technology is overwhelming to me. I do have a cell phone, and it does do some things other than make and receive calls, which is all I really want. That way I won’t miss hearing from one of the two now 40-somethings who used to be teenagers who lived at my house calling to say how much they appreciate all the wisdom I have shared with them. Or I won’t miss hearing Shirley tell me she’s cut, split and stacked that tractor-trailer load of firewood we need for the rest of the winter.
The phone/gizmo I have does take pictures, but I don’t use it much for that. I learned it had a camera when I pulled it out of my shirt pocket, flipped the top to make a call and saw my feet on the screen moving around as I waved the phone in a mad rush to make it stop.
It also has a calendar so I don’t forget the date, which used to be only on my wristwatch and before that on the calendar. And it has an alarm clock. That way I can sleep through not only the one at my bedside but the one on the phone, as well, if I could figure out how to set it and hadn’t lost the directions that came with it.
There’s also a world time clock. That’s very helpful. For instance, did you know that at this very moment it is 9:05 in Caracas and 5:06 in Baku — wherever that is. There’s also a calculator, a stop watch to see how long the chocolate cake stays on the table, a converter in case I want to see what U.S. dollars are worth in Baku and a tip calculator if I want to leave more than a dime.
The reality here, at least for me, is that all I want is some way to be like ET and phone home.
By this time, no doubt, you might be thinking I am a grumpy old man, which I hope is far from the truth. Lest you think differently, I do understand we’re not all alike and that what I may adore could be disgusting to someone else. I’m OK with that. It’s just that, to me, all this dependency and love affair with technology and more and instant information has a downside.
One of them is what the bloggers call “TMI” — too much information. What, for instance, do I need to know about and do with what time it is in Baku? TMI leads to overload, which soon can lead to blowout, as in our heads blow up with too much information in them.
Some have touted technology as a time-saving device. At this tender age in life, I’ve come to know you can’t really “save” time. You can only spend it. The electric can opener that used to sit on our kitchen counter was going to save time. It finally became apparent it took longer to get the can to stay up there and then wipe off the gadget when the string bean juice spilled than it did to use the old hand crank model.
I think the can opener is now resting comfortably at the bottom of a landfill.
What I’m really whining about here, of course, is the fast pace of today’s society where the demand for something in China has made our currency worth less, making it necessary for me to do more to scrape up enough dollars to pay for a gallon of diesel so I can put out hay to the cows to make enough money to pay Uncle Sam at the end of the year so he can waste more of my money — and yours.
I can see why some folks simply throw up their hands and say, “What the heck?”
As soon as I get time, I’m going to make a note — with paper and pen — to look into that. I make lots of notes but usually lose them. Maybe a good thing would be to use the memo pad part of my cell phone to list where the notes are.
Wait. Has anyone seen my cell phone?
Bob Wachs is a native of Chatham County and retired long-time managing editor of the Chatham News/Chatham Record, having written a weekly column for more than 30 years. During most of his time with the newspapers, he was also a bi-vocational pastor and today serves Bear Creek Baptist Church for the second time as pastor.
