When AT&T or Verizon or another techno outfit introduces the latest “must-have” communications gadget, I’m amazed at 8,000 folks sleeping out for a week or at least overnight in 15-degree weather to be first in line to get one.
I’m also amazed how much they’ll pay for them, especially since some other techno-gadget will be introduced within the next 15 minutes, rendering their new toy obsolete.
That fascination with technology is overwhelming to me. I admit to having a cell phone. Let me say that up front. And it can do things other than make and receive calls, which is all I really want. That way I won’t miss hearing from Shirley that she’s cut and split and stacked that tractor-trailer load of firewood for the rest of winter.
The phone/gizmo I have does take pictures but I don’t know how to make that happen. I know for a fact it does have a camera somewhere because occasionally I’ll pull it out of my pocket, flip the top to make a call and see my feet or pants legs on the screen as I wave the phone wildly to make it stop.
In addition, there’s a calendar, which is something that used to be only on your wristwatch or kitchen cabinet. And it has an alarm clock. That way I can sleep not only through my bedside alarm but also the one on the phone (if I could figure out how to set it).
There’s also a world time clock. That’s very helpful. For instance, did you know that at this very moment it is 9:05 in Caracas and 5:06 in Baku — wherever that is? There’s also a calculator, a stop watch to see how long the chocolate cake stays on the table, a converter in case I want to see what U.S. dollars are worth in Baku and a tip calculator in case I want to leave more than a dime.
The reality here, at least for me, is that all I want is some way to be like E.T. and phone home if necessary.
By this time, no doubt, you might be thinking I am a grumpy old man, which may not be far from the truth, except that I’m not particularly old. Lest you think differently I do know and understand we’re not all alike — it’s just that, to me, all this dependency and love affair with technology and more instant information has downsides.
One is what some call “TMI” — too much information. What, for instance, do I need to know about what time it is in Baku (wherever that is)? TMI leads to overload, which soon leads to blowout, as in our heads blow out with too much information in them.
Some have touted technology as a time-saving device. At this tender age in life I have come to know you can’t really “save” time. You can only spend it. The electric can opener that used to sit on our kitchen counter was going to save time. It finally became apparent it took longer to get the can to stay up there and then wipe off the gadget when the string bean juice spilled than it did to use the old hand crank model. I think that electric can opener is now resting comfortably at the bottom of a landfill.
What I’m really whining about, of course, is the fast pace of today’s society — where demand for something in China has made our currency worth less, making it necessary for me to do more to scrape up enough dollars to pay for a gallon of diesel so I can put out hay to the cows to make enough money to pay Uncle Sam at the end of the year so he can pay $40,000 for an Air Force One toilet seat.
I can see why some folks simply throw up their hands and say, “What the heck!”
As soon as I can, I’m going to make a note — with paper and pen — to look into that. I make lots of notes, then usually lose them. Maybe a good thing would be to use the memo pad on my cell phone to list where the notes are.
Wait ...
Has anyone seen my cell phone?
Bob Wachs is a native of Chatham County and retired long-time managing editor of the Chatham News/Chatham Record, having written a weekly column for more than 30 years. During most of his time with the newspapers, he was also a bi-vocational pastor and today serves Bear Creek Baptist Church for the second time as pastor.